Better late than never pictures from the spring

Another old post I should have posted in say...April? Sorry about it.  Here's some fun photos from Tacky Prom and a work team I translated for in March. Thanks for checking in.  I'm going to blame internet being spotty at my house for not being better but you should know the truth, I'm not a good blogger.  

A team I translated for / worked with this March.  

The coolest part of this team was that the trip leader had actually just adopted from Nicaragua last November before AND was the camp speaker at Windy Gap for us.  Small world but even smaller Young Life world.  It made for a sweet connection when we brought kids last week.  

Check back for more camp pics when I have stable internet.

Con amor! <3 

Camp Photos Round 1

First night in NC with classic NC Bbq and pool party! 

Camp tshirts were a hit! 

Ella & me getting ready for western night 

Me & Fernanda 

Camp food is the bessssssstttt! 

Just a little dunk tank / flour bombs to keep the night interesting 

Denisse loves the square dancing! 

Nothing beats the Sippie with Cheerwine slushies! 

Club - party with a purpose! 

Obstacle course 1st night at camp! 

Genid's first time using a vending machine! 

She had to buy me a soda! :) 

Adrianna and I are rocking our new shades! 

Only fitting that we would be on the blue team! 

Nicaragua! 

Shovel races in the rodeo! 

esperanza y gozo

Wrote this in February and let perfectionism get the best of me so I never posted it.

When I post something, on here, on facebook or even Instagram, it's like I'm exposing a part of me to the world. (Obviously, right?) Well the hardest part for me in it all is that I crave responses, opinions and the underlying truth is that I crave approval.  Hi, my name is Jen Boulos and I am a people pleaser. I think that's why it's hard for me to post things sometimes, I fear the response or lack there of so it doesn't seem worth it.  That's my own battle I will continue to fight because I know someone out there checks this blog and I hope (here we go again) that you enjoy it.  So this one's for you! Cheers!

2015 was dubbed - through a prayer that my heart clings to - a year for HOPE and JOY (well in reality, the prayer was in Spanish so really it's "esperanza y gozo").  As you may have caught on from last year's posts, 2014 wasn't filled with those for me.  It was a tough year.  A year of God tearing up the rock hard soil in my heart so that He could fill this year with his seeds of hope and joy.  It was a year, even as I was going through it, that I knew Nicaragua was just feeding into the symptoms of the hard but it wasn't the root of the issue.  I knew that these things had to be dug out and no matter where I would be located geographically, it was going to suck.  So here I am, in the second month of the new year, still sorting through the broken terrain and awaiting the rains of May (here in Nica), clinging to the year of hope & joy.  Would you pray those words for me this year?  Thanks.

Nicaragua, although we clash sometimes, draws me into what true hope and joy look like.  Even in my short trip to the states in December, I could feel my heart filling those places with false hope or fleeting happiness.  Nicaragua is a tool that God uses for me to show the noisiness that I run to when in reality I need time away.  Nicaragua is a place that draws me to my knees because my needs can't be ignored as I daydream in the aisles of Target.  Nicaragua is a place where I am literally living off the financial support of others so if AND WHEN I try to do things on my own, things don't work out. That's what much of last year was like for me.  Trying to cope, to say everything's just fine and when it wasn't, my tendency was off.  Nothing happens in the off position. I cling to the God of Hope and ask for courage to not shut down.  I'm learning. I'm growing.  And I still shut down at times but knowing is half the battle.

Hope.&.Joy.
Esperanza.&.Gozo

Thanksgiving

Being in Nicaragua makes for an untraditional Thanksgiving but I can't say I would change much about it.  

Thanksgiving Eve (if you will) was spent with my Vida Joven family.  All of the team leaders from the 3 areas of Managuan YL get together every year to give thanks for the year that is ending and share vision for what's to come.  We talked about the clubs that are that maybe weren't around this time last year and dreamed big for what's to come in 2015. 

As I was sitting at the table this year, the thing I was the most thankful for was remembering how it felt last year at the same dinner.  I felt lost in the crowd, knowing I was right where I was supposed to be but not really sure of the fit.  This year, still knowing I'm right where I'm supposed to be and grateful for the way Managua Vida Joven has made a Boliche size hole for me to settle into.  (Boliche is a nickname that is some how easier than Jen.) 

My actual Thanksgiving was spent cooking a few of my favorite things (pretzels, green beans and cinnamon rolls - not traditional but still delicious!) to share that evening with my gringo family in Nicaragua.  Unlike the night before that was typical Nicaraguan food, we dined on the traditional American food, including turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, rolls, and stuffing.  I don't even have the words to explain to you what these people mean to me.  Life would be much harder without them and a whole heck of a lot more boring.  

Both families are necessary to my life here in Nicaragua.  I could never choose one over the other.  I am so grateful that I got to celebrate this sweet holiday with so many people that are dear to me.  

Thanksgiving::the act of giving thanks, as opposed to the holiday:: isn't always a natural tendency of my heart.  It's easy for me to see the things to be thankful for or the people but not always the circumstances. Finding reasons to be thankful for the tough stuff is, well, tough.  In a recent Bible study, one quote struck me that keeps echoing in my head: 

Peace is the companion of thanksgiving. 

So even in hard times, in sticky circumstances if we can tune our hearts to sing the praises of thanksgiving to the Father who cares for us, peace will soon follow and, truthfully, in turn make the crumby situation a little more bearable. 

I have much to be thankful for and through that, I can be hopeful for the new year that is just around the corner. 

Confession

I have a need, a desire, a standard that I have put on myself when it comes to blogging that it has to be profound and heart changing or it has to be exciting and full of life.  The problem is, those don't always come naturally to me. And even if it came "naturally", the days I have time to sit down and blog, I get distracted.  I apologize that I am not the best at keeping this up to date.  I also admit to you that the season I talked about in the previous post has extended and I'm still learning and growing through it.  I want to tell you that I'll be better, that I'll do better but I won't and I hate saying things that I know even as I type it that it will get better.

Ministry in Managua is amazing and it's truly an honor to be a part of right now.

Life right now is a challenge because Jesus is working on a lot of heart issues that he wants to show his victory in.  I'm not giving up on these challenges.  I'm not throwing in the towel on the hard but that's only because I know the victory is already won and I'm not fighting alone.

Thank you for reading this.  Thank you for your interest in life down here.  Thank you for understanding that when life gets tough and blogs get scarce, you are always welcome to email me and ask what's been going on.

The verse that has struck a chord in my heart this week is where I'll leave you because it's a promise to you too:

Wait for the Lord;
be strong,
let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

Take courage & wait.
Not on your own strength.

Seasons

Seasons are something we can look forward to because in the chilly rain of spring we can't wait for summer and in the heat of summer we're ready for fall (winter is not a season I anticipate with great expectation so we'll just skip over it). Seasons are generally able to marked on a calendar so we know what to expect and approximately when to expect them.

But, and you knew there was going to be a but, seasons in life are not quite that easily identifiable.  Seasons in life aren't marked on a calendar and you can't really know when they're going to change, for the better or for the worse.  Seasons in life can either sneak up on your or hit you like a ton of bricks and all you can do is tread water until the next season comes...who knows when exactly.

Well this season that I'm in kind of snuck up on me in the April/May range and I was hoping since the US calendar has changed from Spring to Summer to Fall that maybe my season would change too but since I'm living in Nicaragua and April/May is about the start of rainy season, it's been pouring (hypothetically of course because Nicaragua is in a weird drought that postponed the start of rainy season...bla bla bla).  This season has been trying on my heart, filled with heartbreak, unmet expectations, technological/mechanical frustrations and who knows what else.  The weird thing about this season is that it hasn't been ONE BIG HEAVY THING, instead it's more like lots of little things that keep knocking me as I think I'm about to stand back up.  Last week I saw a glimpse of a lesson that I've been learning in this time and had hopes of it being the light at the end of the tunnel but now it seems like it could be a light in the tunnel to keep me moving forward in this season.

Through a series of sermons, Bible studies, conversations and life I've realized I am a person who loves:: black&white, right&wrong, rules and order.  On the outside I may appear easy going and up for anything, and to a high degree that's true but deep down I long for structure.  Living in a place like Nicaragua has brought this to light.  There are little to no rules in this country, especially when it comes to driving.  I like this when it benefits me and it sends me into a tizzy when it doesn't go my way.  If we could all just follow the rules, my life would make more sense.  The things that go quickly here, I expect to take forever; the things I expect to be one and done, take s o  l o n g. Nothing fits into a box.  Nothing is black or white.  It's all covered in a shade of grey.

The lesson: grace. The grey between stark black and brilliant white. The wiggle room.  The place I haven't quite figured out yet and may never fully grasp and that's ok.  I'm learning to let myself wiggle and hoping that I won't fall down.  I'm learning about this freedom.  I'm learning I don't have to have it all together and I'll never have it all together and that's ok.  I'm learning that I am not enough and Jesus is all I've got and that's the best news there is.  I'm learning and if there's anything I've gotten from my first year in Nica it's just that, I've got a lot to learn.

Lately

One thing I haven't been: Good at keeping up with my blog.
One promise I refuse to make: I will get better.
One promise I will make: This blog will be long and full of pictures.

March, April & May were jammed packed with goodness.  I realize it's mid June so I'll be behind on my blogging but just enjoy the flood of pictures and email me if you want more details.

Start with one of the legendary clubs of this semester:

Clubbus - dubbed the FIRST ANNUAL meaning, it was too good not to repeat!

One of our student leaders' dads owns a bus company and was willing to drive us around Managua as we had club on a bus filled with games and songs and chaos.  We made several stops around town including McDonalds where they TP'd the bus and then the last part of the game was to clean it all up and the team with the least amount of TP in their trashbag won!  We also had students race to eat the whole dollar menu in 2 groups of 3.  With a few other stops in between, we finished the night at a park where another student leader did an awesome job giving the talk.  I can't wait for next year!

Starting in March, I've worked with at least one work team a month.  I've been up at the Finca every month anywhere from a couple days with Raleigh YL, a week as work crew and a week with a team from Tennessee.  When I work up there with teams I'm kind of a project manager (aka cheerleader because hauling rocks, moving dirt and painting ceilings needs a lot of encouragement!).  The Finca is getting a facelift which is so exciting to be a part of.  We are expanding the camp from a max capacity of about 180 kids to 350!  That means almost DOUBLE the amount of kids in one week will here about Jesus and be changed forever. I will be up at the Finca a few more times this summer as my "summer assignment" with other teams.  Will you pray for safety, team unity and that we see Jesus in the details and the people?  

My first work team.  This group was from Mississippi with a few friends from Esteli, Nicaragua and the Finca workers who live in Jinotega.  We got to work on what is now a beautiful fire pit that overlooks the entire camp and the only way to get there is to walk through the coffee plants!  Amazing. 

Again, my favorite volcano in Nicaragua.  

This is the Vida Joven team from UCA - a university in Managua and I love them all.  

The girls from UCA and Kansas at the end of a fantastic week. 

This is a mural painted on a missionary family's gate in Matagalpa.  It says Your Smile Inspires Us and that inspires me.  

The Tennessee girls, Dina from Matagalpa, Ludem from Masaya and Maynor the Finca worker.  We sanded and painted this gazebo that will be used as a place of prayer by leaders and kids during new kids camp in July.  Pray with us, will you? 

The true joy I've had recently is getting to hang out with the girls from NCA.  They had a musical, the first ever in fact, in these crazy months and I had the honor to see their amazing talent.  The musical was based off of the book of Esther. 

Lydia was behind the scenes. 

Maggie showed off her singing skills as one of the main roles!  

Hery played her part too, beautifully!  These girls are so talented people! 

And the best part of my job is getting to show up at school and take girls on an impromptu "snowball" run aka snow cone aka slushy aka delicious in the heat of Managua.  I don't know if I've told you but I have the best job ever and I'm humbled every day that I get to be a part of something so amazing.  Jesus is moving and grooving down here in Nicaragua and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.  I know that seems cheesy and maybe redundant after a while but it's true.  My heart is the happiest here because of the call that is on my life.  

The adventures have continued and stories have been left out but these are a few of the highlights.  One of my prayers has been and will continue to be as missionaries leave Nica for one reason or another and new ones come in for community and I can tell you that the Lord has showed up and showed off once again.  These people, Nicaraguans and "Gringos" down here know how to love and know how to love me well.  This season of life has been a bit of a challenge for me for various reasons but like I just said, I wouldn't change...most of it...for anything.  (If I'm honest. ;) )